Why everyone needs a little Luqiee in their lives

Well, at first I was writing a whole long post on Luqiee @ Luqmanul Hakim 'Bolkiah' and our history - how I know about him, what sparked the feud but I don't want to ride on his thunder and it's his trademark to be writing long posts with all kinds of 'facts' so I scraped em all off. I know some of you are curious on what happened until I deserve a post dedication on his blog, but let's save it for another day, okay?

I was thinking about it the other day...what's not to love and loathe about this guy! He would actually be an awesome friend, if you look on the bright side!

And come on, let's all be positive for a day after all the Twitter war...nay?  =D

1. He'll make a good football buddy.

Luqiee is awesome to watch football with. No matter what team you support, he'll surely be able to support you. He's like the best lalang around. It's the same when he told me he's not racist, but he makes racist remarks all the time. Means he's able to adapt to the pro-Malays and he can also be buddy2 with non-Malays. One day he loves Najib Razak and he's his 'best-friend' but if they 'fight' or Najib doesn't listen to his orders, he'll call Najib babi, anjing, bodoh and so on. If you're in a fight, just try to coax him to be on your side and wallah, you've got an entourage...of a one man show.

Oh, if you're a big fan of Lisa Surihani, please don't tell him about your secret celebrity crush or he will hate you for life cause she's the love of his life.

2. He will provide free entertainment for you.

Really, this guy is like a walking TVB Channel. He will provide you more drama than the whole series of Bold and Beautiful combined (which was 1017 in total apparently). Just follow him and you'll get all kinds of episode updates - fights, arguments, politics, flirtings. You name it, you got it. Gossip Girls box set? forget it. Streaming The Hills online? forget it. Even the fights in Jersey Shore is kindergarten stuff compared to his.

It'll save you your monthly subscription to whatever satellite telly you're on.

3. He's the 'son' of Sultan Brunei

Honestly, don't tell me you wouldn't wanna be friends with a Sultan's 'son'. Can u imagine all the benefits you're gonna get. Jyeahhhh...now we're talkin ;)

4. He'll make an awesome English teacher

 He will teach you new vocabularies that doesn't exist in the dictionary.....yet (according to what he said). You will get first dibs on new words, just like how Beyonce did it with bootylicious. He will fix your sentence, teach you past and present tense (even when you really meant it to be in present tense he will assume it's in past tense) and you will somehow realize you've been spelling things wrongly all your life...

I didn't know that you should spell college as..collage?

In case you're wondering how he got my full name (which isn't even 100% correct actually), he added me on Skype (out of nowhere, thanks to his stalking abilities) and there you go, my full name -_-"

Without him, I wouldn't even know the word 'Concernative' exists

So I went to and googled, ended up at a site called Dictionarist and to my horror, this is what I found!

How can this be? OMG Dictionarist, you're the enemy who's plotting an agenda towards Lord Luqiee. He will be displeased if he finds out. Doesn't matter, when he gets his RM800 million, he will pay you enemies to publish that word for him and make it legit! Gah! You know all those spelling errors? It wasn't his fault really! He explained them all on his blog. I totally agree with him, grammar is the most important part when speaking english but take note, people, you should not try this at home without the supervision of a professional.

5. He'll be your personal secretary.

He will keep all the information you want, or about you....archived! And don't worry about getting confused on which article should you be looking for a certain information, he actually memorizes all of em by articles. He is like the world index! I wonder how does he index all the 5204+- books that he said he has read?

6. He will be your personal spy/ stalker.

Let's say that you hate your boyfriend's ex girlfriend or there's this biatch that you wanna stalk and know more so you can gossip, Luqiee will be your best friend cause he will spend his day and night digging all kinds of shit about that person. All you need to do is just tell a simple white lie to Luqiee and say that the person you hate is connected to Freemason/Illuminati or PKR/PAS/PEKIDA. Yeah, he clustered them all together to make our lives easier you see? How thoughtful  ;)

7. He will tell you things about yourself that you probably never know yourself.

A good friend is a friend who would tell you things that you would probably never realized about yourself. A good friend would also tell you all these while others just will prolly never say anything about it. For instance:

and I'm sorry point8cam for I never intended to be with you just to get over my previous relationship. I didn't mean it, really but Luqiee said it first. I guess he must be right then. It seems like he knows me well...thanks to Google. I guess I cannot marry you then.
='(

8. You will learn how to fully utilize Google search engine.

Need I say more? Seriously?

Oh, did I mention he's the Lord of I.P addresses. He can trace your I.P address even if it changes everytime your router resets cause you're in Malaysia  =)

9. You will learn how to create a bank account with HSBC.

If he can do an online tutorial to teach the Sultan of Brunei how to set up an HSBC bank account (So humble lah this prince. Other princes use Swiss Bank accounts), of course he can teach you too!

It's plain simple  =)  Click here to learn how to (not a paid advertorial)

Kalau korang rajin tolong lah dermakan seringgit dua as a fan to him. Account number ada kat atas tu. Dia terima cash deposit and also cheques.

10. He can teach you about FOREX Trading

He does play with FOREX and made USD $8,194.15 profit a day, that smart fella ;)

See, he wasn't even kidding!

I was so proud of him only to be dissapointed in the end that it was only a demo account. Takpe Luqiee, nanti cuba lagi, ok?  =) *hugs*

________________________________________________

Luqiee, you said you were gonna pay me a visit while I send my sister to Sunway Collage in the morning for her classes. I was waiting but you never showed up.

Instead you only said Hi on skype and went offline immedeatly after that. Boo, you suck! Kesian my sister penat dia polish kereta tu. Anyways, do visit Shah Alam. We have I-City here with a beautiful view during sunsets. It's even near a JPJ office, takyah trace2 lah. datang je, jangan segan2. Oh, and thanks for the multiple plugs with my blog links on it ;)


On another note,

Well, Luqiee warned you guys and the Malaysian government on his blogpost that I will use this opportunity to make money and become famous... f.y.i Luqiee I was way famous even before you appeared on twitterville. I..it is ME and your enemies who made you famous...MWAHAHAHAHAH! I was just kidding. You are the BEST!  ;)

PS: Can I have a cut of your RM800mill?  =D

We can buy a PS3 and play together-gether.

xoxo